Why the F*** did he smile?
"Oh i really hope to get the hostel seat yaaaar."
"Dont worry babes... the fee there is more, you should get through easily"
That kinda reassured me, who by now had spent four hours in travelling to and fro from the university everyday, for about a month. With a lot of hope and all the papers, i boarded the first chartered. For the record, I've always loved travelling in buses. Ever since i was eight, i had to undertake these two hour long journeys cause wherever i lived, a decent school used to be far away. And that was partly due to the nature of my father's work. I was so used to staring outside the window, wind blowing in my face and day dreaming. Incidentally i was listening to radio mirchi today and wondering about what it would be like to live in a hostel again. Would it feel the same?
"Sir, i've filled all the forms", try to hand over the hostel accomodation forms over the counter.
" we are not open till another 15 mins."
After fifteen minutes, when forms are accepted, I was told that i wont get the hostel seat simply cause i don't come from a different state. It doesn't matter if i stay so far and have to travel so much everyday. Prepared for such a response, i decide to approach the dean for a seat in a more expensive hostel.
Since the dean wasn't there, i decide to approach the secretary. In my letter i just mentioned that "since i am an epileptic, i would need to maintain a non-hectic lifestyle hence need to stay in close vicinity of university". I thought this would enable a hostel seat for sure. But instead the secretary started smiling when he read that out.
"So, sir? what now?"
"no, you have written you are epileptic, so we will refer to the CMO now and see what is to be done."
"But how? what do i now need to do? is it because i put that medical clause there, i can show certificates..."
The secretary answered while smiling condescendingly, "No. we'll let you know"
"How will you contact me?"
"Check in another 2 days."
Went back home only to realise that in some hostels, students with epilepsy are not allowed since no one wants to take responsibility for any mishap. How helpful! But what i couldn't help wondering was, why did he smile when he read about the medical condition. Indeed,why? After all, i wouldn't smile if i saw a crippled or blind or schizophrenic man! Then why was a man smiling when he looked at a woman who'd dealt with her shortcomings so well. How was she any less than anyone else?
Armed with all such questions i reached home. My parents were quite upset at my open admission of epilepsy. According to dad there was no need to advertise my condition.
"Condition? but baba...its just epilepsy and i am fine. If i don't stand up and tell everyone that i have it and have dealt with it, then how will they understand. Its not my fault and its certainly not something i should be ashamed of."
"No. But its isn't something you are proud of either. So what is the point in advertising? Besides, people either pity you for your misery or take sadistic pleasure out of such things and why give them that."
According to ma, it was an unneccessary detail and could've easily been left out.
Though i just couldn't understand the logic behind hiding such minor details. Afterall, if B.P and blood sugar and an operation in prostrate gland can be talked about in public, then why not epilepsy? It's just a deficiency of valproate in the nervous system! Why should people look at anyone, who's dealt with her shortcomings, with any amount of misery? Why should they pity a person just as competent as them? Why?
Needless to say, i am confused. Confused whether i should go like a raging bull on Friday and give them a piece of my mind or think about things. Deal it differently? Does it really matter what others think? Can you not make others look at your viewpoint if you have conviction in yours? Is this really about viewpoints?
Its not a matter of hostel seat anymore. Somewhere i felt like going on the terrace of the tallest building around and shouting out to everyone-
"Hey everyone, i have epilepsy. could you have guessed? and look how well i deal with it."
"Dont worry babes... the fee there is more, you should get through easily"
That kinda reassured me, who by now had spent four hours in travelling to and fro from the university everyday, for about a month. With a lot of hope and all the papers, i boarded the first chartered. For the record, I've always loved travelling in buses. Ever since i was eight, i had to undertake these two hour long journeys cause wherever i lived, a decent school used to be far away. And that was partly due to the nature of my father's work. I was so used to staring outside the window, wind blowing in my face and day dreaming. Incidentally i was listening to radio mirchi today and wondering about what it would be like to live in a hostel again. Would it feel the same?
"Sir, i've filled all the forms", try to hand over the hostel accomodation forms over the counter.
" we are not open till another 15 mins."
After fifteen minutes, when forms are accepted, I was told that i wont get the hostel seat simply cause i don't come from a different state. It doesn't matter if i stay so far and have to travel so much everyday. Prepared for such a response, i decide to approach the dean for a seat in a more expensive hostel.
Since the dean wasn't there, i decide to approach the secretary. In my letter i just mentioned that "since i am an epileptic, i would need to maintain a non-hectic lifestyle hence need to stay in close vicinity of university". I thought this would enable a hostel seat for sure. But instead the secretary started smiling when he read that out.
"So, sir? what now?"
"no, you have written you are epileptic, so we will refer to the CMO now and see what is to be done."
"But how? what do i now need to do? is it because i put that medical clause there, i can show certificates..."
The secretary answered while smiling condescendingly, "No. we'll let you know"
"How will you contact me?"
"Check in another 2 days."
Went back home only to realise that in some hostels, students with epilepsy are not allowed since no one wants to take responsibility for any mishap. How helpful! But what i couldn't help wondering was, why did he smile when he read about the medical condition. Indeed,why? After all, i wouldn't smile if i saw a crippled or blind or schizophrenic man! Then why was a man smiling when he looked at a woman who'd dealt with her shortcomings so well. How was she any less than anyone else?
Armed with all such questions i reached home. My parents were quite upset at my open admission of epilepsy. According to dad there was no need to advertise my condition.
"Condition? but baba...its just epilepsy and i am fine. If i don't stand up and tell everyone that i have it and have dealt with it, then how will they understand. Its not my fault and its certainly not something i should be ashamed of."
"No. But its isn't something you are proud of either. So what is the point in advertising? Besides, people either pity you for your misery or take sadistic pleasure out of such things and why give them that."
According to ma, it was an unneccessary detail and could've easily been left out.
Though i just couldn't understand the logic behind hiding such minor details. Afterall, if B.P and blood sugar and an operation in prostrate gland can be talked about in public, then why not epilepsy? It's just a deficiency of valproate in the nervous system! Why should people look at anyone, who's dealt with her shortcomings, with any amount of misery? Why should they pity a person just as competent as them? Why?
Needless to say, i am confused. Confused whether i should go like a raging bull on Friday and give them a piece of my mind or think about things. Deal it differently? Does it really matter what others think? Can you not make others look at your viewpoint if you have conviction in yours? Is this really about viewpoints?
Its not a matter of hostel seat anymore. Somewhere i felt like going on the terrace of the tallest building around and shouting out to everyone-
"Hey everyone, i have epilepsy. could you have guessed? and look how well i deal with it."
Labels: IMHO
posted by Mimi at
10:19 AM
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